On coming out of jail

I have never been to jail. No one in my family has ever been to jail. In fact, I don’t know anybody who’s been to jail. Yet I have wanted to help people coming out of jail for a long time.

For some unknown reason, I felt a wish to give the people coming out of jail a serious chance at a new opportunity to function in society. To get a job that could sustain them and give them a reason to connect with new people.  And to be part of giving them the opportunity to create a different way of life than that they knew before going to jail. I had hotels and restaurants. I thought my dream of doing good for others by supplying job opportunities for them, to do good for themselves, would be met with serious cheers and immediately be set into action.

And yet strangely enough, it was met with so much internal resistance, that it simply never took off. The very people I had supported, trained and educated into management positions were the very first ones to say, but won’t they steal? This coming from an industry (bars and restaurant) that is notorious for staff members stealing. Won’t they smell? Maybe, not sure that anybody coming out of jail smells more than somebody who’s not been to jail, assuming they are now out of jail and living on their own. How do we know they won’t do something really bad to us? Well, that was the hardest issue to combat it seemed. That we didn’t know. And never would. But we certainly wouldn’t know either way, until we tried.

Talk about shame. Here was shame preceding the event itself. Before even hiring anybody who’d been released from jail, my own staff, who were comfortable in their own lives and technically seemed the type of people that would be able to lend a hand, came up with plenty of reasons to not even try to give these people an opportunity to recover from their shame.

So I tried doing good in different ways. I hired a man who’d lived in an orphanage until he was 18. This specific orphanage was known for its horrific treatment of its children and located in a different country than mine. After his 18 atrocious years there, he was thrown out on the street and left to fend for himself without any tools to do so. He eventually made it to our northern country but ended up sleeping under a tarp for three years in a forest (and somehow made it through our freezing winters). His story made it to the newspapers, and he was desperate to find something, someone, somewhere to call home. To get a fair chance in society at last. He wanted to learn a trade, a language and start fresh. I contacted him, I gave him a job, a place to stay, an income and a community. I was dubbed a hero. My own staff were told his story and softened at the core. They all took him in and worked with him.

This man stayed with us for three years. We taught him all that we knew and offered him the chance to learn our language so that he could take off on his own. I kept telling him, this place may or may not be your end station in life, but I am giving you the opportunity to catch your breath for a moment. You’re getting a steady paycheck and a consistent job in a safe environment with people that know you and care for you. Take this moment and figure out how and where you want to contribute to society while learning a trade that will be of use for you. This man cost me a fortune (he didn’t steal but the company paid a full salary for a person that delivered about 30%, due to his history and his various issues). His hygiene wasn’t the best as he had not lived in a house with proper sanitation for a long time. And he ended up smearing the floors of our staff bathroom with feces and blamed somebody else for it. A bad thing to do to us, indeed. Yet he was scared at the core of losing his job, his home, his security and his community so he naively thought that by getting somebody else in trouble, he’d secure the spot for him.

But this man stayed on.  He not only got the job, the opportunity and the community but we forgave him, and we gave him a second chance. And a third chance and then many more. When the story of this specific man comes up, I am still dubbed a hero. It took time, money, patience and compassion. It was the humane thing to do and the right thing to do and I did it. And the real thing, is that it was applauded.

Hiring people out of jail still isn’t. And I want to be a part of changing that. I want to look at these men and women as people who are also desperate to find something, someone, somewhere to call home. I want to give them a fair chance in society at last. So they can learn a trade, a language and start fresh. I read Cameron Douglas memoir about his issues with alcoholism and drug addiction, his time as a drug dealer and most importantly, his many years in medium security jail. I was completely taken by his journey. By his absence of shame as he’d worked through his part of it. And found a community of people that support him and a whole new reason for being. I loved every part of the story he told and was even more convinced that time has come to rethink the path for the people coming out of jail as they too, deserve that second chance in life, that I was able to give the homeless orphan with the help of my staff. They need us to help them carve a path that includes a trade, a language and a fresh start. And they need to be able to let go of the shame of their past so they can gain their self-worth, and then finally let it go.

I sang Cameron’s praises to a friend of mine. His comment was “but why does he have to wear the wife beater shirt at all times?” And I answered, “because he probably wants to. He owns his past. And jail has been a major part of his past. Like my serenity prayer bracelet, I wear with pride. I am guessing the wife beater shirt represents the Cameron he has become today. Cameron 2.0. Without the shame.” Through the dark towards the light. I salute him and all of the brave strong souls that served their time and have made it out to our streets. May we not question whether they steal, smell or will harm us next time. Maybe they will but they probably won’t. To quote a man I respect tremendously, “Some people will disappoint you. But the majority of them won’t”.

May the time have come at last, where we do right by them.

May I use what I have learnt, and do right by them this time.